Thanks you all for the replies, at least I'm not alone it seems! This is a bit of a rambling post, please
Mountain, I have been reading your threads and it does look good. I have never been a narrow gauge fan though, standard gauge is my thing. I do like rag tag light railways and industrial lines over the mainline... (unless its rag tag end of steam era!)
But who doesn't enjoy an express loco at full speed!
Emettman, I'm one who defaulted to OO having been presented with boxed train set (as the best birthday present ever!) Its not necessarily a bad thing as its a convient size, even if the stock doesn't look quite right on the track.
Maybe the curiosity of n gauge is that I have no experience of it other than a look and a chat at a show. I also have children who may show an interest at some point and small and fiddly doesn't help there.
It looks like the advice is try it and see, plus picking up a ssecond hand n gauge set to play with isn't too big an outlay to build up experience with. Digital and sounds can stay out of budget for now.
alex3410 wrote:i guess the take away is chances are your scale quandary is probably going to follow you forever

This seems dangerously likely!